Do you find it more sustainable to act on the assumption that the American Empire is in an inevitable and swift decline and will soon implode or disintegrate or that we could easily see 1000 more years (or more!) of despotic capitalist oligarchy? Yes the oceans will rise, and they are full of plastic, but we could very conceivably adapt to whatever happens in a way that preserves and sustains the power systems in place right now, while we could just as conceivably witness the total disintegration of life as we know it within our life times. I wonder what will happen! Any prophets or diviners have any insight? I want to know what I should be preparing for - to pass the torch of resistance on to my mystic descendants or to survive in the ashes of America ?

I think we should start advancing ethics and metaphysics as technology more aggressively, because every time you post a new development in like virtual reality video games, or google's like 3D VR paintbrush or whatever the frack all else, I'm just like, great, I'm really amazed by all that neoliberal futurist scientistic technology can achieve, but tell me what technology of ethics and value will convince people to stop organizing the resources of the planet in a way that most people are starving while New York is a fucking sci-fi dystopian luxury fashion show 24/7, you know what I mean? ‪#‎tech‬ ‪#‎technology‬ ‪#‎ethics‬

If you are wondering about the way this country votes, or what lurks in the comment sections, or any of the other things that befuddled liberals on my timeline wonder about, then you haven't spent enough time in the rural South, Midwest or really anywhere outside of the urban population centers of the USA, tbh I highly recommend it, the line between lampoon and performance and authentic cultural expression just is not there, I love people ‪#‎witnessamerica‬

While I'm on the subject of SOCIAL CONTROL, I cried yesterday in the 2nd of 4 insane and totally nonsensical customs lines to get back into America. It was the wildest one because they were playing a video of all these people saying "Welcome" in which they trotted out a bunch of token ethnic people, then some weirdo cop who explains that all of this is for our safety and convenience, and then Obama his fucking self comes on and I lost it. Oooooobbbbbaaaaammmmaaaa when you were elected the world did celebrate. I was living down from Malcolm X middle school in Berkeley and the kids were chanting your name! And look what the frack all you've done!
Being herded around in ways that we shouldn't herd cattle either is not for safety. It's to reify and normalize the bloated chaotic centralized power structure that is our federal and state governments and to intimidate and inspire fear. That shit did not make me feel safe. Coming back to America was a sick relief because I realized I'm just happy to be back in a place where I know how to game the system because I'm an articulate white person. There is no justice here. This is not a safe place. ‪#‎witnessamerica‬

Self-care is the most powerful and subversive act of political resistance I know

Just thinking about what a bizarre privilege and luxury it is to realize the American state and all states as illegitimate. There are so many people, liberals, "progressives," radicals, etc, who will either never be offered the tools or never feel empowered to use the tools required to disentangle the total ego identification with national state structure that we are all born with and continually force fed throughout our lives. It's like the fucking Matrix. And I feel for all of them. I'm not sure it's possible that everyone on this planet or even in this country or even within any of my communities can wake up the way I have. But I'm so free for it. I wish they all could.

I'm really proud of my body today / always. I started practicing yoga because of chronic and acute pain and inflammation. I thought that constant pain was a part of life. My practice ran parallel to serious substance abuse for almost 5 years. It's almost 4 years since I quit drinking and really started to practice seriously, but for over half that time I had really resigned myself to being a yogi that was inflexible, didn't necessarily feel that strong and couldn't go more than a few days without practicing or deviating from my routine too drastically without spiraling hard, physically and emotionally. But things have really changed. This year I discovered a lightness of feet and presence I never thought was possible. I've addressed and healed two chronic injuries through mindful practice and a total reworking of my walking and really my living habits. I feel stronger than I've ever felt and suddenly my flexibility has quintupled and continues to expand in ways I never thought possible. After bringing serious meditation, ritual and energy work into my life in the past couple of years, and of course it's all connected, I have also never felt so at peace emotionally and mentally. This trip has really brought all of this into bold relief. Sleeping in crazy beds, barely practicing and eating totally insane food in Central America for 11 days by rights I should have been feeling like hell but I feel amazing. My first class back tonight contained unique challenges but really just thrilled me with how strong and stable this new body I've found continued to be even totally removed from my habits for that period of time. I'm really proud. All of my work, which really required me to totally restructure my life, which has alienated some people and changed everything but shown me parts of myself I never knew existed, has really yielded this cool harvest. I feel happy, healthy and wholly myself and I love this person I am. I can't even imagine what the next 4 or 10 or 30 years will bring.

I have to shout out someone flagging "Gay acting" on their Scruff profile it's sad that that seems so radical. We should really celebrate the most flaming among us as potential revolutionaries lol


I'm back in America HELP SOMEBODY HELP ME

I'm back in America who wants to share queer intimacy lol

I'm back in America and ready to go the fuck off

I can't read another social media think piece or rant about getting paid for work and what other people "should" or "shouldn't" do ... This is a really personal thing. There will always be moments where we feel compelled to donate our time and always probably be moments when we feel a line must be drawn in terms of compensation and your experience of when and where to draw that line is gonna be mad different than everyone else's so chill ?

Drag name: Linkin Bio

The thing I find funny is that we are continually astounded by the American capacity to "elect" the most surreally comic and bizarre candidates to public office like did your faith in this system not get blown to smithereens by any of the zillion other complete anti-Christ clowns that have had their swing around our political system? We have such short memories culturally - probably a side effect of white America continually denying its history and ancestry as part of the systemized practice of perpetuating its present status quo. Hello lol

Drag name: Natural Causes

... Think about a question or problem for a long time ... Eventually see as many sides of it as I can imagine ... Find myself back at the beginning ... But a different person ...

... Think about a question or problem for a long time ... Eventually see as many sides of it as I can imagine ... Find myself back at the beginning ... But a different person ...

Harsh sometimes to remember how much the trickster archetype influences me and that doesn't just include making jokes all the time but also being sort of an anachronistic element of challenge and dissent within a group. My ego wants to get the laughs and applause at all times but unfortunately life isn't a comedy show? Or a drag show lol of course

I think the question of existing as separate / individual consciousness within collective / unified consciousness is so powerful and in my experience the most challenging part is holding space for the fluctuations of myself. Everyone else, cake walk, if only my personal consciousness wasn't so reactive, right? Why self realization is kind of the doorway for most traditions or at least a vital facet. First and always you must hold space for yourself. From there, everyone else ?

Recognizing ego attachment just means you're constantly faced with the choice to attach to something and realize yourself as consciously attaching when you do ... I guess that's where the practice of non-attachment comes in. Wonder if it gets easier over time lol


Bad art is really compelling. Like I have such an affirmative relationship with soo much across the spectrum of human expression, so when I really see something as without value it's striking like, wow, what is it that is muffling and mangling your sensory intake that this is what you're putting back out? And I guess to clarify its never the things that arouse really visceral reactions yay or nay it's more the things that I'm like ok ... You didn't take that very far at all. Where is the depth here. You're truncating this before it can get anywhere. And I guess that's also all extremely relative and subjective. Just thinking out loud. On the beach.

Just looking for meaningful intimacy in the continuously evolving present of my life practice

The realization that even the plans I am the most attached to can and sometimes must change ~

Realize that literally EVERYTHING you are personally dealing with has a familial, social, cultural, national and now, like it or not, a global antecedent, analogue; root and reflection. Which is not to in any way invalidate or try to relativize away a personal experience of anything but I find it really pathological the way western capitalist individualism forces us to bear everything as this incredibly personal individual and alienating experience. Life just isn't like that. We are all party to many systems. Gotta go boat leaving lol bye

Sometimes the most personally valuable rant is a fully written and then deleted rant lol

Some of the best food I've ever had in Belize for sure. The wifi only works for me when I'm sitting on the toilet which also is super aligned with my values. Traveling has definitely given me a window on Western imperialism - with full awareness that I am also an imperially complicit white person from the west tromping around with my Apple products and American money. These kids from all over come to these islands and just set up shop like they do in every other city in the world with DJs playing the same weirdo pop EDM megamixes they do every other westernized place in the world and I realized, as we were just casually lounging in our room last night after hours in one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, but being blasted from both ends of the island by booming echoes of the dopey tourist club sound systems - that their sonic vibe is the equivalent of the way that set uses alcohol and sugar, it's meant to alienate, to totally blanket and muffle their sensory experience from what's actually in front of them. Goddess have pity on these people when the oceans start rising and the lights stop coming on and they can't scream at each other over Tiesto while staring into their phones and not connecting to the people around them. Reality is harsh and She is magnificent and we are just tiny beautiful little parts of that that have decided to take up way more space than is sustainable. Big changes coming that's what the Ocean, the Wind and the Sun are saying. I'm so so sun burnt and radiating jellyfish toxin and I feel the planet's turning and I worship Her.

My favorite thing about Belize is that there are cute dogs to pet in every restaurant

I am tripping out so hard on the consciousness of The Ocean right now ~ ‪#‎blessedbe‬

Actually I think a good art practice can be to ask yourself, if nobody else valued this in any way, would it still feel valuable to me?

Pour love into every word and wound, beam it out of every smile, sweat it from every pore, act with love in all cases and teach your heart and mind to trust that it will be appreciated and received, in ways you may never feel or see.

Why do beautiful people have to kill themselves? I understand and it makes me so sad.

Speak to the dead. Let them know they they were and are loved. Great practice for the living too ...

Been saying this the whole time. This system isn't going to change if we keep playing into their game. Two parties is not a choice and it's not a representative democracy by any means, such an abhorrent model of "freedom" which we use to justify unlimited military spending and imperial oppression abroad. Really disturbing when you widen the lens and see how American politics echo out and harm the planet.

"I'm gonna need you to engage with me and this situation on a much deeper level emotionally." Me to everyone all the time

Just out here casually tripping out on my consciousness as usual. What a life!

Why is it so hard to meet other uniquely embodied and clarified conduits of pure god, am I looking at it wrong, lol fuck

Because generally the "mentally ill" are the deep feelers and sensitives and intuitives within our human organism and these ways of existing are institutionally denied because they threaten our culture of alienation and separation. The prophets and Mystics forced to live on our streets and cycle through our corrupt medical, mental health and criminal injustice systems are necessary and powerfully threatening to the establishment so they're literally culled by state sanctioned murder when they're not left to whither away in barbaric institutions or doped up on drugs bought from multinational corporate pharma or starve on the street. This is the country you live in. Look at it. ‪#‎witnessamerica‬

In a culture of mass alienation, I'm just walking around trying to forge connections in any way I can, and no I'm not talking about networking ~

Nobody told me Bieber actually had dreadlocks I don't even know

Another big realization I just had from my bed is this: so much of my life has been marked by experiences and affiliations with counter cultural currents within broader culture that for whatever reason most people either actively ignore, are unaware of or if they are aware seek to deny the existence of by various violent means of various intensities. But legit. This shit exists! We exist! Art and magic and sex work and free love and psychedelics and metaculture and radical life practices across so many spectrums. This shit doesn't just stop existing. I believe that as long as people continue to harm themselves and their environment on such a planetary scale or really on any scale that people like me (and so many that aren't like me aat all! Ecology loves to develop diverse and totally plural expressions for similar forms and functions) we will exist. Because we have to. This is the way systems sustain themselves. I also believe that every person is in a Totally unique position to experience themselves and through this experience everything else from their unique perspective and that all of the ways in which we all share this information physically and beyond are sacred. That's all lol thanks love y'all ‪#‎selfieprocess‬ ‪#‎blessedbe‬

Shit is about to get crazier and crazier on this planet I feel like the most sustainable choices are to seek joy as I develop strengths and open up to the sensory information flooding in all around me and let it shape me into the person I need to be for whatever happens. I will sustain my life and those around me as much as I can and keep trying to have the best time possible while it all goes down. It feels good to know this in my bones.

Reading this piece in Rolling Stone about the beer punk albums of all time which is actually really good and listening to Tori Amos for more than an hour on the train living my life feeling punk ~

I keep having these moments where my entire life experience up to this point comes into startling and beautiful relief and I'm like wow I'm on this planet just 29 years so far and I'm astounded by how far I've come and what I've done ... I grew up in the suburbs of Kansas acutely aware of just like ... How bizarre and desperate my situation was. At one point I committed myself mentally to waiting tables in the Midwest for my entire life, with love and respect for all my friends that did that, and all the people that have no choice or alternative in that matter. But shit what a journey this has been. I'm incredibly grateful that Gaia continues to experience Herself through me in the ways she does. Who could even imagine what's next for me and all of us? I may never be "ready" but I'm here for it. ‪#‎living‬ ‪#‎blessedbe‬

<i><b>The question I always ask myself is, do you feel free? If not, why? What's holding you back? How are you resisting those forces and maybe most importantly, how do you describe and language them, what role do you allow them to occupy in your life?</b></i>

Shaved my head again. My hair so easily became a conversation piece at work and just in life which wasn't necessarily my intention. So much of my self image is no longer tied directly to the specifics of certain things but I know to not intend a statement doesn't mean that a statement isn't necessarily being made. I didn't want to present as if my random crew cut was somehow neutral or normative or blank. So my question to myself was, if I am making a statement with my hair, what is it? And I guess it's utility and self-reliance. I love all the hair workers in my life but I'm going back to cutting my own for the first time in years. And as much as I have experience the connection of hair to psychic and metaphysical sensitivity, I am so fucking sensitive hair or not, my energy bodies are really open and clear and protected through practice, so I would rather not have extra feelers out that just accumulate projection and expectations anyway. Not that people won't still project but at least I've made my statement with intention. Sitting in this question of pure possibility. Who am I? Who could I be? How about whoever I feel called to be in any given moment based on the needs of my living planetary community. ‪#‎selfieprocess‬ ‪#‎blessedbe‬

Not here for white gay's entitled opinions about Lauryn Hill ~

There's actually something really beautiful and alchemical about the evolution of canonical comic book characters throughout the ages, like how many times certain characters have died to be reborn again, and how they gradually develop and deepen and complexity and grow throughout their existences. It's some cool archetypal analogue to personal self-development, maybe that's a big part of what fiction does within the collective psyche?

I didn't even realize I passed my 4 year mark in New York this month. Wow. Time is such a strange and interesting way to map experience.

"Looking to connect with people that experience their lives in context with the spiritual well being of the planet, is that you?"
Line I just added to my dating profiles lol

The funniest thing to me post-Lemonade is this incredibly simplistic idea of like, did Jay really cheat on her, or did she make it up for publicity? Beyonce is a mythic cultural nexus, she's like the Bible, how can you try to assign a singular truth narrative to her? Do you read the Bible and take that shit literally too? We have no perspective on post-modern mythology, it's really sad to me. On a broad sense, every man definitely fucking cheats on their wife, or if they don't they do some other fucked up shit to them (to ignore the violent assumptions contained within monogamy and institutionalized marriage), her dad definitely did fucked up shit to her mom, to her, whatever, that's this culture, on a more metaphysical sense, the feelings are there, it happened, and it resonates with people. That narrative has been active since "Irreplaceable" tbh. What silly ideas of the truth we have ...

You know what's magical and easily taken for granted? You can stir some stuff a lot in a certain way to introduce air and make it fluffy. Totally change the texture and experience. Wow.

What I love about queer and even just straight up gay culture is that we will make fun of something, deride it, establish clear boundaries between ourselves and it, but flash forward a few years and we are all just saying "Yas Gaga!" and owning that shit so hard lol I love how culture eats itself ~

I know that my politics and spirituality and ruthless and transparent emotional engagement with everything really freaks some of my oldest friends out, and you know what, it's ok. I get it. I love you anyway. Somewhere we are all together, somewhere we have all peeled back the layers and just LOOKED, I'm blessed to be where I'm at, and to have known all the people I have, and every day I'm meeting new friends ...

I'm a Tori Amos "Winter" all year round kinda girl

Deep down I think we all really wanna feel helpful ~

Something you may not know about me is how much I love Times Square. For me this place is a giant impossible to ignore doorway into the metaphysics of American culture. I think I confuse a lot of people with the language I use to describe what I call my affirmative engagement with facets of our culture like Times Square, Beyonce, etc. Affirmative engagement does not mean consumption without critique. What it does mean is a metaphysical engagement with ideas on a holistic level - mind body and spirit - based on a model of the self as a system within the layered systems of reality. When we engage with things in dualistic ways - positive or negative - we often seem to leave parts out. Like, you may say you love or hate something, but if you're drawing distinctions like this you're really just engaging superficially, via the parts of you that experience separation from things around you, the classic western self vs other duality. Like Buddhism teaches us, an aversion or reaction to or against something might as well be the same as an attraction or fixation on the same thing. There is a middle way which I choose to describe as affirmative engagement. If I can keep my system of a self as clear as possible through regular metaphysical practices - which for me are many yogas, Wiccan ritual magic, all kinds of energy and emotional clearing work, meditation, etc - then I can experience a multi sensory engagement with anything in a way that affirms not only its validity and reality but it's connection to me, within the layers of systems of cosmic reality. I experience myself as a function of the self-organizing processes of the planetary system we can call Gaia, but more locally the embodied systemic goddesses of New York and America and as such it really is my role to experience as much as I can from within these systems so that I can experience that information, take it as feedback and adjust my behavior - as a functionary of the general system adjusting itself to achieve more sustainable homeo not stasis but movement - accordingly. Thus I have to engage with Lemonade to experience, for better or worse, what can be thought of as a major pulse rippling through our culture. I can engage with Times Square, with pop culture, the trappings of corporate capitalist oligarchy, with all of the things that people with "taste" would have you deny or detract for various reasons. I'm not saying it's for everyone or that it's easy. I think for most of us living as we are under constant threat of violence and disempowerment within the authoritarian patriarchal state structure of this country it's a matter of resistance and survival to have to curate what we take in and experience really rigidly. I did that for years. To survive. But I've grown. My intensive practices which began as sheer survival have tipped me way past that point. I'm strong and empowered enough to hold space for and affirm and engage with nearly anything (I still have my lines that I draw, I'm not a Buddha all the way, I'm a person principally and it's not like my life is necessarily easy, I just have given myself and found a lot of support to be able to really take on this role. There are reasons I'm this sensitive. I walk through Times Square and I feel so viscerally on every level beyond what even my mind can describe so much. I think that opening myself to my culture in this way has really been vital for how I interact with my world, with how I create my own worlds within it and what art and expression I let through me. I think if we could all open up to the information our sensory systems are showing us - in holistic and sustainable ways with proper support and care and within safe frameworks - we would suddenly find ourselves very different people within a very different culture. Think about it. What do you push away? What do you choose to engage with and what do you choose to deny entry into your life and why? Why do you like what you like? How does it make you feel? I feel deeply. I am compelled. This culture, country and by our hands this planet are an unfathomable and astounding fucking mess right now but I am a functionary of Gaia and I feel strong and empowered to receive and affect the change that is needed from me.

To come to the realization and describe everything as sacred is one "thing." To live, breath and practice engaging with all beings and things in a way that honors their sanctity, to embody and make space for the feeling that everything is sacred, that is another ...

I love the "this is me rn" vibe but I also love to just slide into an image of me in a space time that's no longer current the whole thing is so slippery and magical and weird. Where does all of this exist? Space is such an idea. ‪#‎selfieprocess‬ ‪#‎time‬ ‪#‎space‬

"Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats."
- Diane Arbus

<i><b>"I'm gonna need you to engage with me and this situation on a much deeper level emotionally." Me to everyone all the time</b></i>

I'm sorry I just have to say that I'm obsessed with Lemonade. I found it totally compelling and affecting and an unprecedented piece of meta-media. I'm totally that person that is hijacking the aux chord to ask you to engage holistically with the new Beyoncé lol not for the first time either

Grateful to be living breathing and weird as hell consciousness is such a bizarre and magical gift if we choose to call it so ...

Just out here casually tripping out on my consciousness as usual. What a life!

Talk to your family about Lemonade ~

All my torrents come from Russia

When someone you know is liking photos of some Facebook trade from 2013 so they show up on your wall and you like them too lol glad to be back. Liking feels like such a luxury. And they can take it away at any time! Constantly working to be more affirmative in offline life! Is life every really offline though??!! Isn't there always media mediating our experience? Thought and language don't they set us apart from many other forms of life or do they just operate via media we don't know how to receive ?

Prince is one of the greatest song writers and a true American eccentric genius. I see a lot of analogue with him and Michael Jackson and the mainstream preoccupation with gender roles and binaries especially for men of color. I wish those and all souls in that situation (isn't that really everyone though?) had been able to really express the dysphoria they so clearly were dealing with but I'm very grateful for his music. Purple Rain absolutely changed my life.
"Sometimes it snows in April ..."

If they have convinced you that the most or only effective or valid avenue for your political expression is to vote in general elections, they have silenced you! Live your vote every single day, in every action, in every word, see what kind of world we can create ...

Artists, do you compare yourself to the "heavyweights," the "great" ones, the ones that inspired and inspire your work? Does that stop at some point? When do you look around and realize you're old and just doing what you're doing and art and work don't always or ever bear comparing? I keep thinking about how Joni Mitchell can't listen to her records, refuses, and how tragic because they are so beautiful, but I get it, things could be edited and refined and polished forever, sometimes you just have to say, ok, it's done, I'm good enough, whatever?

I don't think there are "wrong" places to look for love ...

So I took a year off of Scruff and the like and I'm back on and suddenly the new buzz word is "artist" lol ok fine. Kind of love that. At least I will always have witch!

Torn by wanting to grab people and shake them and really just be like what the fuck are you doing stop wasting your wild and precious life !!! And wanting to meet them where they're at.
Were my wasted years really wasted? Not necessarily. I had good times. I actually been realizing how the power of alcohol isn't just toxicity it's a release from things that hold most people back. But it's not sustainable. And those things can be released without it. I had fun back then I wouldn't change it but damn I would have been having such a time not being hungover and wanting to kill myself all the time feeling like my body was my enemy and really questioning the value of any life.
It's just so hard to see change happen so readily when people get out of their own way and realizing I can't really drag someone over that threshold. Nobody did to me I had to come to that realization on my own. But time again I remember how literally not a single person ever said to me, hey, you don't have to do this. You don't have to destroy yourself. There are other ways. Fuck I'm still mad when I had my first really dramatic God realization my energy healer legit told me that this was the kind of realization people get institutionalized for. My energy healer told me I was crazy. The only person that ever floated sobriety as an option for me never did so directly. It was someone I went on a date with who said they got sober because alcohol was a depressent, and eventually switching to only tequila (which I did too after his example!) didn't work. So I always come back to just wanting to be a voice. An alternative. Cuz I'm 3.5 years sober from booze and even now sometimes the depression is already too much!
So like no shade but Hey. You don't have to do this. There are other ways to make life not just bearable but something to value, something beautiful, there are ways to find joy within pain and not suffer any more for it ...

Mantra: "Please don't talk about my body."

To clarify last week's post -
I was in kundalini at the studio I've been practicing at for over 2 years, in a class with a teacher that I love and have taken almost every week since, and a voice came so loud and clear and said get the fuck out of here, this is no longer for you. I tried to stay and it felt awful so I left.
That practice and those teachers have been so vital to my development on this path and I totally wouldn't be here in this way without them or all the experiences I've had there. But it's time to move on. Today I started what I'm going to develop into a daily self practice of breath and energy work utilizing all the tools I've learned in that practice, many of which I incorporate into my own classes, in a way that's not just more systematic but intuitive. I've been practicing yoga for about 8 years, seriously for 4, though of course everything shifted when I started teaching 2+ years ago. In that time I have learned and experienced more than I probably wanted to initially, more than I felt ready for at many times, more than I ever thought was possible to learn about myself and being a self on this planet within this culture and paradigm at this time. And I've come to the point where now I have such an intuitive experience of my body that I do feel like the practice of kundalini or kriya style yoga would be better served as something I develop on my own.
Today ruled. I feel amazing. I experience so fully the power of practicing in front of a teacher, of being seen and witnessed, but I'm starting to learn that I need to do that myself, can I hold myself to really intense energy practices, can I witness myself as I further plumb my subconscious and clarify all my bodies? I'm excited.
I have membership at KYE through the month and will try to make it there a few more times and have free passes for first timers. Again that place changed my life and I will super miss it for however long I feel the need to be gone, and I highly recommend this work for energy, magic and spirit workers, psychics, intuitives, yogis and really anyone that needs to get a handle on their ego and clarify their spirit. HMU, satnam and blessed be.

Why is it so hard to meet other uniquely embodied and clarified conduits of pure god, am I looking at it wrong, lol fuck

Like maybe I take for granted how much he's shifted the discourse or his political history, but I really am just not impressed or super excited by Bernie Sanders, I still just see nostalgia for a more equal status quo there, not some dramatic radical upheaval of power and class dynamics. But I actually realized just now, I'm a real deal fucking radical American nightmare. I'm a former prostitute former addict incendiary gender terrorist and sex witch. I worship the earth and talk directly to Gaia and smoke a shit ton of weed. I'm an anarchist. Maybe I'm not supposed to be impressed by a presidential candidate. Maybe the state structure that would accept representatives that I could believe in and support doesn't exist yet.
I love the Green Party for embodying my values pretty fully. And I love certain people in the establishment. Elizabeth Warren has an emotional presence and expression unlike anyone on the scene right now. She makes me cry. But again maybe I'm just not supposed to be here for this game maybe I'm meant to be the one on the outside advocating for radical reframing of conversations and perspectives and paradigms. Why should we pretend like this political system was designed to include radical dissent? It really wasn't. It was designed to exclude SO MANY and it does that so well. I wanna advocate for something new ...

Supreme as a brand really make me mad in a unique way. Like your entire aesthetic and fortune rests on a style you literally blatantly copied from a radical feminist artist and coopted for bro culture wtf

Sam Banks hey you're my sun. I couldn't really be more grateful to have a life with you. Love you.

Spirit just literally picked me up and shoved me out of a room and class I've spent over 2 years connecting to Spirit in and basically screamed, Get the fuck out of here. This is no longer for you. Time for something different. I could not have anticipated this even an hour ago. But I'm listening. I feel sad and excited, a feeling like anxiety but with very little negative associations. Powerful change sweeping through my life. Thank you Gaia, thank you Saturn.

Way too many gay guys on social media that see themselves the enforcers of normative public behavior. You really care that someone is clipping their nails on the train? How does that harm anyone? Why can't people experience their bodies in public spaces? What are the roots of this socially enforced normativity and what else does it yield? And how does that relate to the way people who have to fight to be included within institutionalized spheres of "normalcy" turn around and enforce normativity with others? Love and respect for the social misfits, the weirdos, those bold and brave and / or desperate enough to step out of the realm of social acceptance and just fucking live their lives.
Signed, Picking My Nose In Public

None of my friends wear bike helmets and it drives me insane but anybody could get hit by a bus I guess just walking around or the sun could go supernova prematurely so whatever I guess ~

Can someone I trust tell me if The Changeling Bieber actually has dread locks also loving that the conversation has shifted from white people should never wear dreads to it's really problematic that white people are critiquing white people with dreads, I find it really interesting tbh, confession I had some ill-advised dreadlocks in my mullet for some months when I was 18 and none of my wannabe political anarchist friends thought any different of it, well a bunch of y'all white punks had dreads now that I think about it ...

Drag name: Unfollow Delete

I also just generally worry about the younger generations of queer people, you know, I love Lady Gaga, but I find her completely useless as a lynchpin of queer culture, if you don't have any reading or perspective of the historical context of the most recent pop stars or what's happening in pop music now, it just really troubles me. And that's kind of always how I've been, and there have always been really vapid white cis gays engaging really superficially with pop culture, and there probably always will be as long as our culture exists as it does, but what troubles me is these radically practicing queer POC trans genius lunatics, who just have never been offered anything other than this commercial EDM / pop hip-hop soup and don't know where it comes from, what their actual history is ... far be it for me to tell someone what their history is, I just think there are a lot of active scenes I encounter that could really benefit from a radical queer herstory lesson ... Who's gonna do that? Why I play such out there DJ sets at our house, somebody has to, wish I could DJ more out, not that I'm like the savior of queer culture either, just random thoughts in a box rn bye

Did you know that I just sit and LOL at Facebook every day lol shit
<i>
<b>Pretty much just wanna give every body I see a hug and look them in the eyes and tell them they can realize their potential ~</b></i>

Just thinking about all the people from Christian or Catholic backgrounds I've dated over the years who were genuinely freaked out by my being a witch lol ... They were right to be scared of course ...

I love this thing about me: no matter how deep I spiral into a depressive anxiety "relapse" moment, no matter how critical or doubting or unsupportive of myself I can be sometimes, literally EVERY TIME I look in the mirror, I catch a glimpse of myself, and I'm like, wow, awesome, you are great, you are a great fucking person, you worked REALLY FUCKING HARD for A LOT OF REALLY INTENSE YEARS to become this person and it really worked out for you, GOOD FUCKING JOB, I LOVE YOU. Every time. It's great. It doesn't always help or change anything but it's great. Part of why I take so many selfies tbh ~

Maybe I would vote for Bernie if he ran Independent though tbh ...

I take for granted how deep my sense perception is. I literally have not seen an inanimate object for over 4 years. EVERYTHING I LOOK AT IS MOVING ALL THE TIME. When I stand still and look at things they dance. It's beautiful. Everything is always kind of hazy. I also often have the experience of seeing air. And I see auras when I'm practicing a lot or when I really try. Everything has an aura. Plastic. Trash. Metal. It's wild.

<i><b>I'm a sensitive ass genius weirdo in an incredibly violent culture. I function highly and feel a lot. My sensitivities are gifts.</b></i>

Drag name: Faxing Shit

My Grandma, "I'm 98 years old isn't that obscene? I look pretty obscene too!" Lol

Drag name: Facebook Live

There are so few cultural figures that I can get behind completely with no fear or caveats but Erykah Badu is that for me %100. I kind of think about this every day lol

Lady Gaga is kind of the HRC of gay-interest EDM lol sorry about it

Maybe I'm not the best friend or person in terms of communication. My sister got engaged, my dad was in the hospital twice and my grandma turned 98 and I haven't spoken to any of them. People don't really realize how all consuming my job is. It's also one of the best things that's ever happened in my life. I'm serving my passion and what I consider my spiritual function within the American ecosystem. So yeah I don't always keep up with everyone the way I want but it takes two to tango. I'm always tryna make plans with people or at the very least I always answer my texts! Shit. It's cool though I'm realizing that I just know a shit ton of amazing folks that I love dearly and we don't always have to be hanging out every night forever. Thank Goddess for my amazing house mates, so blessed to come home to such a beautiful family.

Remember when none of your punk friends had cell phones ?

I've been more stable and joyful on the regular this past year than ever before, especially the last 6 months or so. But shitty days happen. I super appreciated how much everyone reached out when I posted about Wednesday. It really is so hard for me to face those old but familiar feelings of anxiety and fixation on the challenging stuff, I immediately start to spiral and blame myself, like oh you haven't slept enough, or meditated enough, or I'm not practicing what I teach to students, etc. and I totally get where that comes from. But the real of it is I do it all right. I've been practicing yoga daily for almost 4 years, regularly for twice that. I take my mood tincture, I pray, I manage my diet and really my entire lifestyle in a way that care for myself is the central axis. I've done a really good job at that.
So my new thing is whenever I have a hard day, rather than immediately listing all the ways I could do better, or haven't been doing enough, I'm going to list all the things I do right, all the ways in which I've laid a foundation of self-care so that my hard days are just that. Not weeks not months. I've had shitty entire years. It was just a day. And it was totally normal. And I feel back to myself, joyfully engaging with the sorrow of the world, living my life. Great. Good job. You did that.

So wary of language and rhetoric that valorizes or critiques broad swaths of human experience under simplistic umbrellas of identity. Queer, trans, GNC, etc, mean different things to different people. A person of one race does not necessarily speak for or represent their "entire" race. When we speak adversarially towards entire groups of people aren't we perpetuating in some way the same rhetoric that institutionalized patriarchy uses to divide and oppress?

I had a really hard day, I ran into someone who lied to me and really hurt my feelings years ago, you know I am obsessively friendly with all my exes but this person really through me for a loop, and still I'm trying to make peace with him, to hold space for him, and it really has just struck me I have spent so much of my time on this planet chasing after some fucking douche bags! Like some actually shitty dudes, that have lied to me, been violent to me, called me bitch, whore, and crazy, refused to be seen with me or touch me in public, mocked my spirituality, made me feel like my art and lifestyle were a joke, used me for my body, and generally just shit on me from any conceivable angle.
I really don't get it. I value myself and I always have. Even when I was practicing active self-destructive it came from a very narcissistic place, and I always stubbornly clung to this life, which is why I am actually still alive, really. Even in recent times, last year or so, I will watch myself bending over backwards for someone like, well, I'm just really compassionate, or how expansive can I be in this relationship?
And I do hold and affirm that each of these people is valuable, their perspectives are valid, and there was love of some sort somewhere, even if it's something that I have to describe in hindsight and never truly felt, but damn. What the fuck have I been doing with my life. Please may I grow out of this. Please may I seek people that care for themselves and others and know when to keep my distance from those that don't.
Anymore when I meet people that I really appreciate, I tell them, usually immediately, and articulate why. The few men who have ever looked me in the face and told me I was beautiful really stuck with me, and I try to do that whenever I feel the same about someone. That's my work but honestly whatever to the guys that can't decide if they're down, whatever to guys that can't articulate what they appreciate about me and make me feel valued and cared for, whatever to men around whom I don't feel safe, for whom I feel like I have to be the one to hold the space. I hold space for a full time job, no more of this shit off the clock.

Voting is literally ONE solitary act of expressing politics amongst a near limitless list of acts and practices of resistance and politics available. Some of ya'll have really drank the fucking institutional oligarchy's Koolaid and I keep expecting you to tell me to "Just Say No" too.
I actually read someone today write that a non-vote is a vote against Muslims, or some hogwash to that effect. I voted for Obama in 2008, against better judgement, because I was taken in by the rhetoric and wanted to see a black president, but this man, who many people actually believe IS Muslim, has been authorizing drone strikes on civilians and presided over the continued detention and torture of Muslim non-combatants with NO TRIAL and NO RIGHTS at Guatanamo Bay, just to scratch the surface.
I practice my politics EVERY DAY. If you feel like voting for president is your ONE chance to express your politics, great, by all fucking means go fucking vote, but to cast simplistic, reductive and frankly delusional judgement on people who abstain, resist, protest, advocate and agitate for voting either for alternative parties or not voting at all is the real fucking privilege, the privilege of people who have been coerced into policing the oppressed. Get in line like the rest of us. You gonna tell me to register for the draft too?
Live your fucking politics. I'm ready to burn this shit down. You're sweating the election of another Democrat. Fuck outta here.

Drag name: Read Receipts

I've been getting emotional all day thinking about how much I love my job, because of the person that I show up to be at my job, and how much I appreciate that person. Like, what an amazing opportunity to get to experience myself as this person.

Continued practice of mindfulness has seriously decreased my experience of FOMO lol

WOW.
I'm so consistently inspired by the way y'all show up to ‪#‎casadiva‬ events. Thank you for entering our space with love. I want to say how impressed I am by queer Brooklyn - the looks, the moves, the vibes - but I also wanna offer that this could just be Brooklyn. The subversion of mainstream holidays is super intentional and powerful but I don't think we have to limit it to just queer identified people as needing safe space outside of what most of the city is doing most nights, especially on the holidays. I think the way most of the world operates is dangerous for most of the people in it. How can we forge a safe space whose demographic isn't limited? What I love and appreciate so much is the difference that shows up and how cared for the space and vibe and people feel within it not in spite of but WITH our differences.
What I don't want to do is attempt to define or limit the experience of this community and space and these gatherings for anyone, but what I do wonder is how we could carry this forward outside of these events? Can we care for clubs and bars we inhabit as we do our homes? Can we care for each other in nightlife and all social situations like family? Can we be more compassionate in the comments sections of our online communities? Can the fabulous or interesting or even totally weird and off-putting strangers we encounter become our friends?
You know me now. You've been in my home. I want to know and meet and experience all of you. I want to dance and experience insane fucking drag and performance art with you. I wanna get really high in a space that feels safe to do so with you if that's something you do. And I hope the ethic of self-care still comes through even as we hold space for substance in the home. To each their own but know that I don't partake of herb to forget or distract, I smoke herb to connect, deeply, so thank you. Let's stay connected. We'll see you on 420. Hit me up if you want to be involved! We may not always have this apartment but we can always be in community!
‪#‎thankgaia‬ ‪#‎queeranarchy‬ ‪#‎queermagik‬ ‪#‎blessedbe‬

I don't really experience any "thing" to be inanimate. Every "thing" I see moves.

<i><b>Respond with love respond with love respond with love</b></i>

My ego wants to post messages from my haters! But you know what. Their feelings are valid. And I love and affirm them for them.

Drag name: California Psychic

I really am not a person to try to invalidate any aspect of anybody's experience, but I'm starting to get really suspect towards people that speak FOR entire communities. I am a white, queer, American, Wiccan, often gender non-conforming anarchist yoga teacher and artist. I don't speak for all queer people. I don't speak for all white people. And it would be fucked up if I tried to. I speak AS a white American. I speak AS a queer person. There's a huge difference there.
Does that make sense? What happens when we speak from our experience as members of our communities rather than speaking to the experience of all those whose identities might on paper look like ours?

It's great your politics are really great, you have really identified and articulated systemic oppression, cultural constructs, but have you EXPERIENCED ontological freedom, have you EMBODIED the mutability of your socialized identity constructs? Have you experienced yourself as a woman, have you worn a dress? That's my question to a lot of these men

The thing about being an artist is that you may not really be able to appreciate a lot of your work until years after you release it ...

Actually everything surprises me it's awesome

Drag name: Fermented Anything

White people ... Have you talked to your parents about the legacy of slavery? About colonization and indigenous genocide? About trans people? About capitalism? Why not? Have you talked to yourself about these ideas?

I've meditated on this for awhile ... A LOT of people many of whom I've never met physically describe dreams in which I factored in some way, at least one almost every week, and the trend seems to be this ... I either am there to tell you to stop fearing change, because I represent practices and lifestyles of powerful embodied and pretty constant radical change, or I represent freedom from sexual repression. So if you see me in a dream ... Suck it up, get your shit together and start doing yoga, and stop repressing your sexuality. Sorry and you're welcome.

I want to start a missionary group where we move into rural white communities in poverty and advocate, empower and educate while explaining the history of systemic oppression and white privilege. Or write a book for them. Or someone else should lol fuck

It's all well and good to pontificate online or to your friends etc about how awful Trump is but how often are you standing up to strangers, family or the people you love most and asking them to examine their subtle and casual racism, transmisogyny or generally violent language? Eye to eye, person to person, those icky conversations are how change happens ...

"Couldn't you just love me like you love cocaine?" - Joni Mitchell

Drag name: Brooklyn Tavern

My take away from growing up in the Midwest, I just realized, is that I was basically born in the geographic subconscious of the country, some specific slice of the Underworld so to speak, at least as it exists at this stage of capitalist state development, so I have more of an inroad to engaging with the various ways that manifests outside of the Midwest, particularly in the urban coastal population enclaves. I'm like Persephone had a kid and it's me lol ~

I think [Spanish] should be mandatory in schools it's just racist and xenophobic that it's not and also a-historical, for better or worse who you think colonized this continent first? But spiritually I think that peace lies in showing people that the identities our western egos are constructed to cling to are actually so fluid and mutable if we allow them. Learning to speak Spanish as a teenager opened my awareness up to so many different worlds of experience I never would have encountered otherwise.

Drag name: Bluetooth Headset

Drag name: LOL Thanks

The real me is dancing alone to PJ Harvey while really really slowly cooking dinner and pausing to spit some language up onto a screen every once in a while I feel good

I love Cher because she so obviously feels so deeply.

I took Sam Banks first official traditional hot class today and it was amazing. I am so proud to call you my friend and teacher.

<i><b>Challenged by people? That may be the point! Congratulations.</b></i>

I'm still holding out for a Cher cover of "Beautiful People" because it's a great song and I'm still really challenged by Chris Brown but the question of how to engage with a pop act like this makes me wonder ... Who would you be if you were defined by your worst mistakes? (And your consistent perpetuation of them and refusal to atone for them in any way but I digress) ... Thoughts ?

Drag name: Intense Falsetto

Drag name: National Conversation

Today was rough right?

I think there is actually a lot to be said for some toxic sociopath coming along and churning to light the grossest side of this country. Because how long have people been describing the reality of racism in America and had it denied as fantasy? Here's the fucking reality on national TV. I think that's valuable. And if you feel mortal terror at the idea of Trump as president, at least he wears it all on his sleeve, because any of the rest of them are just as complicit in this system, as we keep seeing time and again.
This is fucked up though. It's so telling to see what are supposed to be adults acting this way. Tells a story about the conditions from which these behaviors emerge.
‪#‎witnessamerica‬

Drag name: Female President

I seriously don't understand who y'all are friends with on here that is potentially voting for Trump?! But maybe that's the privilege of being a queer anarchist for 10+ years lol none of those people fuck with me. My oldest internet friend who I have known for over 15 years recently deleted me in a rage because I shared some random meme about Star Wars being racist lol of all the things ...

Violence and competition are totally prevalent and pervasive in our society and I would never attempt to dismiss when someone experiences themself to be experiencing violence. Ever. But in terms of just like pure social shit especially in terms of social media ... Everything is not actually about you. Do you receive everything as an insult or an attack? What does that say about your model of reality even just in terms of where you sit in relationship to everything else? I've also totally been this person. Speaking from experience.

How much of an impact on the world can I make just with my general day to day demeanor?

I used to always think about people I knew from specific nightlife scenes who seemed totally indispensable, like they would always be there, never leave, regardless of their role or participation, people who were just intrinsic, but then would suddenly just disappear ... years later you realize they're still alive, out there living their life, maybe even still getting fucked up, they just like got real jobs and started living some other life ... now I realize I'm kind of that person lol ... and you and your rich boyfriend and random office retreat on some island is as unimaginable to me as me teaching yoga full time and inhabiting new age yoga world may be to many others ... that's funny ~

I do get mad at Facebook sometimes. No I don't need to be goaded to tell my friends how excited I am about the leap day?! Cool someone made a new kind of selfie stick that's really trending news?

<i><b>Some observations on Americans that I think can be really vital to keep in mind:

- Many Americans are taking large quantities of caffeine, a highly addictive stimulant, every day. Many of them are also speedballing between alcohol, a powerful and mainly toxic sedative and depressant, and caffeine, every day. Many of them are also ingesting really high amounts of refined sugar and salt, also highly addictive.

- Many Americans are actively using prescription pharmaceuticals, including psychotropics and opiate pain-killers, of some sort that may be treating the symptoms of deep-seeded disease or pathology whose roots may go completely unaddressed for their lifetimes, and that may or may not be highly addictive.

- Many Americans are working full time or more at a job they couldn't really give two shits about or that actually makes them feel bad about themselves or their lives.

- Many Americans are actively experiencing severe emotional trauma and stress and many of them will fail to address this state throughout their entire lives.

- Many Americans have only ever made their most defining life decisions based in large part on fear.
Just some things to think about when you're out and about ... ‪
#‎witnessamerica‬</b></i>

It's really hard for me sometimes to take seriously people who went to college. You spent 4 or more years in an incubator for general intellectual and ontological conformity to learn an institutionalized mode of thought that generally seems designed to support the current status quo. It seems to me a protracted adolescence, perpetuated in the same way that basically all of what we would consider American and maybe broader western institutions do, and also a unique and privileged bubble in which you're taught that your ideas and contributions matter, so long as they don't too explicitly challenge the status quo that perpetuates the institutions. That was not my experience of my late teens to early twenties when I left college before my second semester was up. And I'm honestly really grateful for having had the experience of feeling challenged, threatened and doubted at every turn for the better part of my early adulthood. I know this is a broad generalization and also has a lot to do with class privilege and a million other intersectionalities, but it's still really hard for me to shake the feeling, especially amongst these online or regional enclaves of people that all went to the same school (cough Oberlin kids cough) and seem limited to the social and cultural holding patterns they developed there. It's not like I've had it harder than most or anyone or somehow have access to some "truer" "realistic" experience, it's just like ... There is more than one general way to think. That's important to realize.
Though ironically so much of the scholarship and art that has broadened and expanded the modes of ontology I feel I have access to was developed and emerges from within academic institutions. And I guess I can't truly speak to the academic experience having barely completed a year of undergrad. All I can speak to is participating in the culture they yield as an outsider and how that seems to have shaped my experience. And valuably so.
Also what a ridiculous idea that 18-22 year olds in a culture that specifically denies true maturation are at the right stage to pick the classes and fields of interest and even to take in the information that they will apparently need for the rest of their lives. Not even to mention the financial aspect.
I also really want to go to seminary I think about it all the time. I got really upset when my sister graduated from college an RN I felt like I had failed to live up to my parents' and culture's expectations. But now I'm a full time teacher, teaching teachers, working completely outside of academia so I guess I did good for myself lol.

Fuck the Oscars / I kind of look like an Oscar though ?

Ask me about my theories concerning the link between inflammatory foods and anxiety lol

I'm watching Charlene get ready while listening to the Akira soundtrack life doesn't really get any better

Drag name: Colony Collapse

I'm sort of seeing someone who doesn't use Facebook it's like Gaia looked up at me, winked and was like "Ok you've been through some shit. Have a good time. Live your life." Lol thanks Goddess

I actually think 50 Words For Snow is my favorite Kate Bush record but also my need to constantly rank things while also constantly ranting against hierarchal ontologies lol

If we actually addressed poverty and the way the American corporate capitalist oligarchy oppresses and exploits working class people whole sale do you really think we would still be dealing with so much virulent racist and fear based extremism? This was my question after I thought "Wow I can't believe the KKK are still a viable thing in this country in 2016." But obviously. Fuck.

I have consistent fantasies of me and my brilliant friends clustered in community after a hypothetical societal dissolution, going through every assumed word and concept in the Western body of culture and deciding what we keep and what we create new and what we leave behind...I am trying to realize this practice within a resistance to problematic eschatological traditions... ~

The Kesha thing is actually really intense in terms of how many KNOWN, WELL-DOCUMENTED physically and sexually violent predators there are working in not just pop music but EVERY INDUSTRY that get endless passes. It's so pervasive through our culture and really makes me think about how long I've felt so bittersweet about the aesthetic and lyrical content I hear on the radio in the deli, in Kmart lol, all over, this is a part of what makes up the value systems of our culture. How do we practice resistance while also participating fully in the cultures from which we emerge?

2016
Developing my non-dominant eye /
Learning to carry my camera bag on the other side / 
Looking for balance
Symmetry not required
Like

Finding balance between the Person Within Me That Has All The Answers and the Person Within Me Who Has Only Questions ...

Sometimes I get really frustrated ... like, wow, maybe 95% or more of people on this planet are never going to access the modes or facets or layers or whatever of consciousness that I experience as regular now, just after a few years of heavy spiritual exploration, teaching, meditation, yoga, energy work and ritual, almost all of it chiefly designed and implemented to subvert the primacy of the Western ego artifact I was given and culturalized to know as my identity from birth over my experience. And I just keep finding more and more subtleties to it, more and more difference between the way I am now and the way I was raised to be. The way I experience and engage with consciousness and reality and divinity sometimes feels really isolating, as much as it also feels unifying, connecting, but I guess it really doesn't have to just be any one thing. I can't assert that this is the better way just because for me it's vastly preferable to how I observe most of the world to be existing. How could I? I just have to accept that we are all operating from all kinds of different modes and perspectives at all time and just try to be compassionate and engage affirmatively with the differences between me and everyone else, saints and sages and everybody. Everybody.

Alexis Blair Penney it's also a hold over of the western ego to want to turn cognitive development into a tool for self-isolation. I can really engage with anyone on any level. the ego loves the conditions placed on experience. silly.

[Methodism] is the denomination I was raised in. There are some great people within. I have so much weird and kind of perverse affection for institutionalized religion because secular materialism really bothers me, but I also think that churches and institutionalized doctrines really only serve to alienate and oppress people, no matter how many kind hearted small town Methodists there are in the world. I'm bored with incremental social change today, I just want to light things on fire.

I think the most annoying thing to me about politics in such an ignorant and alienating society such as ours is that we can never publicly acknowledge the function of intuition or even really feeling within the political decisions we all make - from voting, to the language we use, the think pieces we write and read, the way we act with other people, what we buy, etc, but definitely in terms of the candidates we "support" whatever that even really means to each person. We are so violently discouraged from acknowledging any intuitive or emotional facet to any of life so everything disintegrates into tirades and litanies of facts and figures and statistics, as if somehow if people are just shown the right statistics in the right way they will somehow come to the "right" conclusions and vote the right way.
Sorry ya'll the "facts" as we can understand them have stood for a long time. Indiginous people, slaves, the poor, women, civilians, Communists, radicals, revolutionaries, how many lay dead at the hands of American people and policy? Even if we could agree on a statistic, even if we look at the same figures, you see the facts spun in so many diverse ways for so many diverse ends. For us as a society to portend our political discourse to be somehow objective and factual is just such a sad crock of shit to me. People vote by their feelings. We operate intuitively. We are also so out of touch with our intuitive faculties that we vote from terror, paranoia and rage more than out of any sort of feeling, compassion or empathy. And that goes for the liberals, progressives and radicals I know, too.
I really wonder if even just radicals started to let go of the "rational" materialism that has colonized our minds from birth, what kind of activism that would yield ...

Drag name: Yeah Sure

Obama is a Leo with Aquarius rising (OF COURSE) and Gemini moon ... I suddenly get him.
I literally was just watching this video like wait is he an Aquarius wtf

I'm really challenged by this neo-Liberal notion of describing and enforcing a normative taxonomy of aberrance, like, say, this assertion that transvestitism exists distinctly from transgender people, and I know that there are a lot of trans people that assert this as well and I'm not going to deny the validity of it, but just say I am challenged by it. I think it rests on a lot of assumptions in terms of awareness, access and agency on the part of all people. As we all know many people still in 2016 will end up spending most of their lives in some sort of a closet, not to mention all the artists, thinkers, inventors, healers, etc, who never feel themselves able for so many reasons to actualize themselves. But I also think that this assumes some sort of normativity to institutionally canonized notions of gender expression, or just of any personal expression at all. Western culture is not and has never been some blank slate of normal against which emerge all these alternatives. It's always been something created, collectively but also under extreme forms of duress, coercion and oppression, so to look at different forms of behavior and say, well this is one static thing that we can describe within institutions (after much battle even for that, sometimes) because of the way it seems to relate to "mainstream" or "normative" behavior, and here is another which is totally different and static because of the way it relates to mainstream behavior, is just really harmful for me in terms of the continued repression and alienation of people and identities. Do you really think everyone that feels dysphoric or for whom the established gender binary doesn't resonate actually feels the strength and support to express what they feel? And that when said people feel the unique privilege or desperation, usually some mix of both, that drives them to express whatever their particular "alternative" mode is, it should have to accord with various institutionally recognized forms of alternatives, is just really hilarious if it weren't so fucked up and unsustainable. Which I guess is why the non-binary and GNC movements can be so powerful. But where I will always be so wary of the neo-liberal commodified identity politics game as it's in practice within American institutions today. To describe unique cultural conformity as normativity to me is just really fucked. I think it's important that we keep embodying and describing alternatives to this style of thinking. You don't have to fit into a tidy box and what do you lose when you do? As much as I feel so much pain and love for those that lay their heads down every night knowing that somewhere out there people want to kill them for who they are, I also feel so much compassion for those that lay their heads down every night knowing that quite possibly no one (maybe not even themselves) will ever know who they truly are. I don't think either is better or worse. I'm interested in the spectrums on which these behaviors and modes of expression intersect. What are ways in which even the most radical and embodied ideologues amongst us still reify cultural normativity in some ways, and what are ways in which the most seemingly conformist and complicit amongst us practice and embody radical alternatives?

What a magical day. Connecting with my broad and beautifully varied pagan community always leaves me with so much hope and affirmative feeling. Like oh here are the people I see guiding energy with absent movements of their hands, dancing with total abandon and falling so easily into magic that can be so simple and so silly and still so profound. I feel incredibly grateful for these experiences, inspired and energized and committed to finding this more and more a part of my regular life practice beyond just with myself. Blessed be y'all!
PS thinking of convening a pre-ritual before our next party on March 17th, anybody down?
‪#‎wicca‬ ‪#‎resistance‬ ‪#‎paganism‬ ‪#‎newyorkcity‬ ‪#‎america‬ ‪#‎witnessamerica‬ ‪#‎blessedbe‬

Drag name: Field Consciousness

A lot of times I want to say "I love you!" at times that would be socially or culturally or psychically inappropriate so I just try to express it really hard through feeling, through other words ...

Modern actually scratch that amodern life is that somebody you've been hanging out with asks you what app you met on because he can't remember and you make a joke out of it but actually don't even care lol ‪#‎amodernity‬ ‪#‎lovelife‬

When dreams combine sex with someone who is no longer part of your life, it can be a vivid metaphor representing a longing to "get in touch." This can have many nuances depending on your unique situation. Dreams of the dead are very common when you are mourning, and the subconscious often struggles to accept the reality and finality of the loss by picturing them alive. Sexuality represents the essence of life, and as such expresses the longing to share life with those who are gone."
Where I'm at today. This was helpful actually.

When dreams combine sex with someone who is no longer part of your life, it can be a vivid metaphor representing a longing to "get in touch." This can have many nuances depending on your unique situation. Dreams of the dead are very common when you are mourning, and the subconscious often struggles to accept the reality and finality of the loss by picturing them alive. Sexuality represents the essence of life, and as such expresses the longing to share life with those who are gone."
Where I'm at today. This was helpful actually.

Has anyone actually had the sensory experience of BEING God or any deity or cosmic force really for any extended period of time? Because I have a bunch of times and more and more I really wish I had someone to talk to about that. Just wondering ~

I would be a very different person without my experience as a rent boy. Anti-prostitution law protects no one and endangers many, of course perpetuates our sexually repressed and obsessed society of rape and bodies devalued as commercial commodity. Legalize sex work!

I spent pretty much my entire life feeling burdened and at odds with most of what I experienced, chiefly my body, and now I feel lighter in my whole being than I ever thought possible. Change is really cool and totally happens ~ ‪#‎thankgaia‬ ‪#‎blessedbe‬

My fucking landlord from 10 years ago in Kansas City coming up on People I May Know the fuck do I even still have his number I don't see how I possibly could that was like at least 6 years of flip phones ago

People that don't like dogs ... People that don't like kids ... People that don't like drag ...

"It is hard to swear when sex is not dirty and blasphemy does not exist." Ursula K. Leguin my mother

I actually feel way more productive since learning how to let myself do nothing sometimes ... Funny how that works ~

<i><b>I'm trying to think of all the other brilliant shit I thought today and didn't get around to writing down while I was running around living my actual dream life as I do every day lol</b></i>

I love having a dog because of all the ways he challenges me to think about myself and what I perceive to be my own mammalian nature, because I'm pretty sure most of what he is is a pretty succinct mirror of most of what my ego as I understand it is. And I can't really complain now, but for most of my life my mind has been both an incredible gift and my worst enemy, so I look at how impulsive and staccato my dog's attention is, and I'm like yep, that's me on a "bad" day during meditation, though at late I've been chiller and more mindful by practiced reflex than ever before. But also my dog's fixation on his toys, like, ok you want to chase this ball, then you want me to chase you with it, and try to take it from you, and you're going to put up a fight, ultimately I'm going to take it, throw it, and the whole thing starts over, but like what even does this ball represent to him? He doesn't eat it, really, he hides toys all over the house like in every corner, and then randomly finds one and forces everyone around him to play this silly game, and he gets crazy like angry and mean sometimes as if he's not going to let you take it whatsoever, but if you don't try he comes up and fucks with you until you do take it ... To me this is the capitalist impulse, the impulse to own? To just have something that basically serves no real purpose other than to fill your mouth and give you something to fight over with another. lol maybe I'm projecting but this makes sense to me ‪#‎capitalism‬ ‪#‎dogs‬

<i><b>Just when you thought you were out of the woods, all the tabs saved and re-opened on launch ...
</b></i>

I fall more in love with this crazy planet and the violent and beautiful human animals on it every day. That's all I have to say about that ~

Drag name: Electorate Demographic

Drag name: Rural White (actually very sorry about that one)

I think it's super important to realize that people generally have a lot more going on beneath the surface of just what we can openly state and articulate not just to others but to ourselves. Dig deep into the subconscious and unconscious layers that we generally tend to share collectively and you may be very surprised ...

Drag name: Masonry Bit

<i><b>Drag name: No Emissions
</b></i>
<i><b>
Omg stop telling people how they should describe their experience. Describe your own experience. Hello.
</b></i>

Radical is and has always been a relative term and idea, open for extensive debate and plural understanding and experience. What's radical to you may not be to me and vice versa and I think a really radical idea is to actually hold space for this spectrum of experience without having to put them in competition. ‪#‎radicalism‬ ‪#‎ontology‬ ‪#‎duality‬

"Hey ... It's been awhile ... Have you decided to radically redifine your relationship to substances and get super into yoga yet?" Me to like everyone I know lol. Hello from AN (NOT THE) other side ... ~
life just like doesn't have to suck as bad as it does. it sucks enough and that's not your fault. we have the power to actually not make it worse and actually help ourselves and others feel better ... especially my atlernative minded white brethren come on get with it ...

A really important practice for me has been, rather than flatly denying certain ethics, aesthetics, practices and ontologies, etc, while praising others, or trying to establish a hierarchy between what I consider better and what I consider worse, to actually look at everything within the context of its creation, to understand it as an artifact of a specific culture and context and cosmology and see where it works within that and where it maybe doesn't work the way it is meant to, and describe alternatives. It should never really be about like collectivism vs capitalism. These are totally different cosmologies, totally different value systems and the practices that describe and exist within these ideologies yield totally different results. Like I see this sticker all the time, "Don't Be Racist" or some over simplified bullshit, and while I appreciate the intent, I think that really eloquently manages to miss basically the whole point. People aren't just wandering around blindly deciding to be racist arbitrarily. There are really complicated systems of power at play and total ways of seeing, being and believing. The entirity of what we can take for granted as Western culture is embroiled within hierarchies of white supremacy, light vs dark metaphysics and all kinds of dualities of thought. Putting the onus COMPLETELY on individual "choice" I think really does no one justice and is the kind of thinking that's firmly rooted in the same system we as anti-racists or white abolitionists should be trying to develop an alternative to. So, like, I see racism, and I see the value it has in supporting an oppressive white supremacist patriarchy, and I see all the ways its connected to misogyny, capitalism, ecological exploitation and destruction, etc etc etc ad naseum. For me it has to start there ... That's just my random thought tonight when I should be in fucking bed ~
or like say football. I can say football is dumb and boring, and to me it is lol, but I can also say ok here's what I see to be the value of football within this system, it normalizes violence, valorizes male size and strength of a certain aesthetic ideal while automatically denigrating alternative morphologies and forms of strength and power, while simultaneously devaluing the bodies of those that participate within it, who are churned out used up at middle age and violently demented from repetitive concussions with the consolation prize of a bunch of money, further reifying the capitalist structures that partake of the media broadcasts and corporate commodity culture of the NFL as a soporific to distract themselves from their active exploitation and participate in the culture of homogenize or be ostrocized as feminine and weird. I see its value within these systems lol

Ask someone with a cross on their forehead what they think about the connection between only male language being used for god / Yaweh and women's status and experience in society ... Just kidding probably don't do that but maybe? ‪#‎patriarchy‬ ‪#‎goddessisalive‬ ‪#‎whosesins‬

Drag name: Plastic Bag (I know it's not the first time I'm sorry lol)

Remember that to be able to rationalize your behavior in social situations in the moment is a certain privilege. Most people they get on the subway it's like fight or flight suddenly they have no idea what they're fucking doing. Love to them all ~
<i><b>
Affirmation: my capacity to feel is a gift that can be a powerful source of strength.
</b></i>

I'm feeling a little desperate to walk on grass but snow and pavement have value too 

Hi just a reminder that I love you ~

Drag name: Class Mammalia

I kind of never thought I would say this, but then again I'm not surprised at all: Beyoncé kind of just answered all my questions about American culture and politics, so I think she should just run for president?!

2016: I'm not going on dates anymore! What the hell am I looking for! Fuck this shit lol I mean it's fine, it's been great, I love where I can mindfully engage with sex and other people as of late, but if I'm going to be spending time and taking trains it should be for music and art and shows and community. That's where the love I really need to feel is.

I just like am at a total loss right now as to how to ethically engage with the American political system as it is. I am trying to navigate the line between apologism and valorism and faux-radical total condemnation and apathy and just wondering where ideas like love and compassion, terms which can be so misappropriated and coopted on so many levels by so many destructive and oppressive institutions, exist within this system. I think maybe the key is organizing and activism in some senses, but I think there are also ontologies and political practices and embodied ideologies waiting to be birthed that won't fit into any of the established or described categories we have yet. Trying to figure it out.
<i>
<b>2016: tryna think less about what I haven't got and more about what I have and what I could let go of
</b></i>

They put Shangela on X-Files this is why i don't watch tv

[Gone To Earth by David Sylvian] is one of the ones that "brought me through" my San Francisco days, when all I could do was stumble home from the clubs and shows every night and collapse into my chair and fall into music and pray for some kind of salvation. It takes me back so hard to weeks and months on end spent blacked out and tripping nightly on psychedelics, and for a long time it was almost painful for me to hear this record after I left, but now I feel like ... I don't know. Some prayers got answered or something. I brought myself through. The music helped. It hits me differently now. It feels kind of good. I wish I could give that person a hug. I'm really proud of them for surviving.

I'm 29 and I love my life. Also remember when I started getting crazy religious jewelry and ritual tools and iconography tattooed all over my body? Those were good choices, I'm happy about it all. Maybe happier than I have ever been now. That keeps happening. It's amazing and no longer comes with so much mortal terror. Keep growing! Keep living! You are valuable and necessary! Love ya'll ‪#‎selfieprocess‬ ‪#‎queeranarchy‬ ‪#‎aquarianage‬ ‪#‎blessedbe‬

I'm an incredibly discerning and also skeptical post-modern person and I just sit here and laugh at all these Bernie v Hillary memes all day thanks everyone thanks for making an old lady cackle

Does Drake even know what "Why Can't We Live Together" is? Weird question of the day for me. He has to right? Then why he turned it into a flatly misogynist anthem for demeaning women? Which I still for whatever reason appreciate. Fuck

Tfw a cis/het pair are talking who are obviously a couple and you still wanna be like, "Excuse me, is he bothering you?"<b>

<i>It's crazy how much easier my general existence feels the less convinced I am of my own enduring "rightness" ~
</b></i>

Are you ever just listening to Santana like, "Fuck yeah ..." ???

lol sorry today I've been thinking about RuPaul ...
I still think of her as a really important and trail blazing figure and no I don't think that I'm being an apologist for that ...
I also think it's fucked up, obstinate and ignorant for her to cling so hard to the right to use transphobic slurs, and I also don't think of that as an assault on free speech or too "politically correct" ...
I don't watch TV so whatever, haven't watched any show in forever ...
I just think it's interesting how binary we fall in like every sense, it's either a blank condemnation or blind support eclipsing any critique, where is the middle ground? I mean the fact that a black gender non conforming person as flamboyant as she has a wide enough media platform to even be able to actually perpetuate harm through her language is really pretty amazing, I just find it all really interesting ~

Tfw you're put in a position to be at odds with a "customer service representative" aka a dramatically underpaid wage laborer probably barely legal who represents the policies of a giant exploitive corporation and you're just trying to get your shit and not pay out the nose for it and you know you're both getting screwed over and try to be nice but end up saying some radical shit about the politics of the situation and feel bad because it's not my right to just tear around telling young POC that they're getting fucked over by the corporate job that they're probably just lucky to have in this "economy" and it's all just a really gross feeling. I don't fucking believe in "customer service" I believe in human beings having their bodily needs met by be work they do enough to realize themselves and the people around them as human beings ~ ‪#‎walgreens‬ ‪#‎capitalism‬